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1.29.2008

Sadness decends...

The funeral for Pres. Hinckley has been announced. It will be held on Saturday Feb 2nd. I am beginning to feel sadness at his passing. We will miss his comforting presence. What a blessing he has been to this world. It is strange that the sorrow for him combines with the sorrow of losing grandparents who were so dear to me. I long to have the stabilizing influence of my grandparents generation. Maybe I am just afraid to become the generation in charge in this world. It’s a scary thing to be responsible for things. Is my generation ready? It’s not our turn just yet, but it’s getting closer.

Maybe it’s a longing to be young again and feeling like the adults and especially our grandparents will protect us and keep us happy a safe. Amid all the snow we are dealing with here this week, I long to go back in time to growing up In Idaho Falls, before the awareness of adulthood came upon me. Snowmobiling with grandparents and uncles, hearing the snow squeak below rubber boots, dressing in “snow pants” - those memories are all tied up in losing a dear old loved one. I think of my great-grandmothers hands, wrinkled and soft, and remember the love that radiated form her, and it intertwines with President Hinckley until I feel tears prickling my eyes. I know he is with his beloved wife and that makes me happy, but I selfishly miss him and mourn….

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