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Isn't life interesting?

Just when you think you've gotten comfortable life throws a curve ball. Ever notice that? You learn to deal comfortably with a reality in your life and then suddenly the balls are all up in the air and you're juggling again!
I think this is one way that God works so that our time is not being wasted, yet we have enough time to gather ourselves before the next fire starts. Lately I've been feeling like I am not being used fully, kinda like I am wandering in the forest and enjoying the walk. But realizing there are so many important things I could be doing if I was given the task. I am a bit wary of saying this out loud since I may end up wishing for that peaceful walk again. I tend to get in over my head sometimes!  I keep telling my husband that I will not move again- unless we move to Idaho- specifically the Idaho Falls or Rexburg area where I have family living.  Lately the longing has become almost overwhelming. I fight it only because I discount my own sentimentality.  Pat feels the urge to move. I feel the urge to move but we want to stay put and let the kids enjoy the last few years of growing up in one area. But every year my nieces and nephews get older and I miss time with my grandparents that I cannot get back.
Time is a funny thing. Sometimes it seems like your on the Ferris wheel moving along at a manageable pace and then someone hits the speed up button and you can't get off. You try to make the best use of your time but it always slips away faster than you want it too. But then enough time goes by that some old things begin to resolve. You find that you can still breathe when bad things happen. Life isn't over if you don't get your way. And sometimes you were just wrong. You learn to deal with what people can give you and you learn to let go of what you want but can never get. You learn to bite your tongue with your teenagers, go along with your spouses whims,  and to hug your parents every chance you get. Prayer becomes indispensable, scriptures speak volumes in one verse, and God feels very close at times -making you so very homesick.
I've learned that there is truly opposition in ALL things even marriages and other relationships. I don't know why I was so surprised at this fact, but I was. I guess we would not be told to be unified if opposition didn't exist. And we could never get the credit for being unified if there was no opposition to overcome. Those curve balls are always lurking around the corner waiting for you to be in position to hit the home run. A home run would never get any applause if the ball were not hit the opposite way it was thrown! Their would be no thrill in hitting a ball if there were no challenge to it.
 I have always thrived on challenges. Wonder what the next challenge will be?  Will you be ready to hit the ball? Or will you crumble into a pile of jello?


The Good News!

I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I love that He knows me personally. I love that He makes a place for me. A place for me to offer my talents. A place for me to help others on this path. A place for me to feel like I am not alone in this dreary world. I love that He loved me with such power that He gave me the greatest gift of all gifts: the gift of eternal life. He suffered all the agony of my sins. It was not trite or small. It is not a cliche. He really did suffer all the things I suffer in the hope that I would learn from my experiences and would not have to suffer the full weight of my sins. I have suffered as we all have, but it has only been because I have been so blinded by the world. The world has such great hold on me. I am swimming in it and trying not to get wet. I try to make my life what I want it to be, but Jesus had a better plan and such great love that He perseveres with me, letting me struggle and kick against the pricks so that I will find His way. Gently driving me. Because His way is so much better. I am a stubborn and willful woman. I think things ought to be the right way, forgetting that things are the way He wills them. I would violate the agency of others with my way, but He will not. Having faith in His plan means that I must have faith that He can save those I love. I must have patience in His timing and let others have their experiences too. I rejected having others tell me how to live, and I found this way of living through God. I could have listened to others and found it, but would I have found it with such a vengeance? I don't think so. Some just need to learn through experience. Maybe all of us do. Can we really have strong and lasting faith if it is only based on what others tell us, if we never experience the pain and agony of trying the wrong path first? Maybe. I don't know. There seems to be not many of that type in today's world.
But He suffered it all, whether we would turn to Him or not. With His great forknowledge did God shorten Jesus' suffering, omitting the sins of those who would not come to Him? I don't think so. The scriptures tell us He suffered for all. What a great act of justice AND mercy. He fulfilled the demands of justice without a guarantee that we would accept it and draw on His mercy.
But not only did He suffer the agony of my personal sins, He also suffered the pain that I inflict on others and that others inflict on me. He suffered all pain! What a wondrous and incomprehensible thing! He suffered that I might not suffer when I am wronged! But how difficult it is for me to let go sometimes. Why does my soul hold onto the pain. Why is letting go so hard? Perhaps it is because I lack the faith necessary to let go. At the moment that I hold on to the hurt I am lacking the faith that God can heal me. I am rejecting the mercy He is offering to me and to the one who offends me; a dangerous situation since He told us that if we could not forgive others and extend mercy, then we were unworthy of forgiveness and mercy ourselves. Yet I cry out against the injustice! I should not be in this situation! I should not have been hurt by that person! The greater sin lies elsewhere! Yet in my cries of justification, I am rejecting the Atonement of God! What peril I am in! If I reject the Atonement for another, I reject it for myself! Even worse, I reject the comfort for those I hurt too! How can I possibly make up for the wrongs I have committed in my life without the Atonement? I cannot. I am utterly and completely impotent to heal another's hurts, especially those I have caused. How to fill the gap? Only through Jesus Christ can that gap be bridged. But I have turned over my biggest hurt to Him. It was a simple decision to make, but one that I must keep committed to. I must not dwell on the offense, or the results. I am not without blame or power to overcome it. Once I rejected the hurt, I began to be free of it. The self-pity was denied entrance into my heart. I no longer let it hold me down. I suddenly had the power to overcome the results. Through faith in Jesus Christ, that wonderful and mysterious power I hold in my own heart, I can overcome anything! What marvelous Good News! What a marvelous Gospel! There is no other like it!
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