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What a Sunday!

It has been a doozy of a weekend. Without going into details, I should be distraught. I had imagined that my great grandmother who died on my birthday ten years ago or so was by my side part of last night. I fell back to sleep at abut 6am and woke up about 7:45 worried about getting everyone ready for church in time. Despite the stress, I actually woke up strangely calm. I actually felt like I could handle the situation I was in. I went to church and felt the Spirit stronger than I've maybe ever felt it. Everything was drenched in meaning for me. I felt literally propped up. I felt a strength that I do not feel very often. It wasn't a strength like my physical muscles, but deeper, bigger. I felt like the world could fall apart around me and I would be unaffected. I felt a cocoon surrounding me and buffering the despair I usually fight off in situations like this. There are really no words for me to describe how wonderful this day has been, and yet how awful it should have been. It is amazing, a wonder, more real than anything I've ever experienced. I felt like the calm in the middle of the hurricane, watching the hurricane but being insulated or like it was somehow insignificant in the grand scheme. I remembered a few times that my faith has been seriously tested this last year and felt like I was being rewarded now for passing the test. Sentences are failing me. So I will list some words or phrases:
calm, joy, hope, peaceful, protected, rewarded, carried (like the footsteps poem), above the storm yet in the middle of the storm, detached from the anxiety, (what is the opposite of utterly lonely?), eternal,
"If I were sunk into the lowest pit of Nova Scotia and all the Rocky Mountains piled on top of me, I ought not to be discouraged, but hang on, exercise faith, and keep up good courage, and I should come out on the top of the heap.” (Joseph Smith to George A. Smith) I felt like I went from sunk in that pit, to on top of that heap.
I don't' know If this makes any sense to anyone, but I wanted to try to record this because I know in the future I will need to relive it in my memory again. It's not gone, but I know from experience that it will fade, and I will be tried again. But it's ok. I know who is with me and He is stronger than those who oppose me.
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